It’s fairly common knowledge that “love” in high school begins as lust, then transforms into infatuation, and then finally, it becomes love. You spend the first few months of the budding relationship being young and free. It’s fun and easy. There are no kids to argue about, no bills to worry over. The sad reality of it is that at such a young age we are still growing. Still discovering who we really are. Who I was at seventeen is vastly different than who I am now at twenty-three. The thought of being with someone who was like me at that age depresses me. I was very immature, very virgin to the harsh realities of the world. So it goes without saying that falling in love young is like playing a game where you have a 50/50 chance of winning. Sadly, losing means great heartbreak. Heartbreak is never easy, no matter your age is.
You will have to grow with each other and with growth there is always change. It’s devastating to watch your best friend change before your eyes into someone you don’t know. When you feel like you are losing your grip on someone you have begun to rely on, you feel like you are losing your grip on your own self. Maybe in a sense you are since they hold a piece of you that is so very cherished: your heart.
You will have to decide for yourself if the new person in front if you is someone you can spend forever with. It’s an awfully big decision to make at such a young age. When I married my husband at twenty-two I was taking a huge gamble at my own happiness. I will not lie to you. It has been hard. We fight often and feverishly, but at the end of the day my husband is my best friend, my partner in crime. We have so much fun together on the good days. The bad days, though.. They are relentless. Yet I find myself thinking that as long as he is willing to try for me, I will gladly try for him. That’s what a strong marriage takes. Truth be told?
I wouldn’t trade him for the world, but sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision marrying him just because of the stigma of marriage around our ages, and fear that he will continue to develop his life in a completely different direction than mine.
If we end up going our separate ways it will be on his accord. He is my better half and I cannot imagine a life without him. I know I could live without him, but I really don’t want to. I fall in love with him every time I watch him take care of our kids. Whenever he smiles I still get butterflies. Whenever he kisses me I still feel weak in my knees. As long as that innocent infatuation stays I know we are doing all right. I know he is my biggest fan. It melts my heart when I hear the words “I love you” leave his mouth knowing they are just for me.
Do not let anyone tell you it is impossible to find your soul mate young. It is possible, but it is hard. So very, very hard. If there’s a will, though, there’s a way. Just remember that love is patient, kind, loyal, and forgiving. And never, ever give up. You got this.